As commenters pointed out to me, I missed one player type: The Jerk, aka the guy knocked out and bleeding on the floor. You know the one. He picks up the other players and throws them, stands on top of the question boxes, throws turtle shells at the other players. Gets punched regularly.
With the release of New Super Mario Bros. Wii and its addition of four-player simultaneous multiplayer, suddenly Mario players of different types are interacting directly with each other in the game and on the couch, when before they would've stayed out of each other's way taking turns. Special thanks to spriters-resource.com for the graphics!
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